And Still, I'd Say The Same

Summary:

Bob and Kenzie think about life and identity, and how theirs overlap.

Warnings:

brief mentions of past violence against a third party

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It was several months into Bob Sparker's latest suspension. After an unfortunate “reunion with an old friend” resulted in a bit too much violence for live TV, the network saw no choice but to cancel his already questionable game show for the foreseeable future. It wasn't the first time something of this nature had happened, but it was definitely the worst.

But Bob had decided to make the best of a bad situation. If he wasn't able to focus on his career, he could at least turn to more personal matters. Rather than hiding out in his apartment on Electricopolis' top tier, he found himself sneaking off more and more to stay at his partner's place down in 2-3. It wasn't nearly as lavish as life on the top, and anyone who really saw themselves as part of the city's ritzy 1% wouldn't be caught dead in a middle-class residential district like that, but it was certainly better than the industrial tiers below. And, after all, the garish neons and shimmering glass skyscrapers up top could be a bit much. It was almost nice to take a break from it all.

Kenzie Flack, himself an ex-employee of Zap! Entertainment (albeit not one who ever made it nearly as high in the rankings), had been more than happy to welcome him in. The two had already been in a relationship for quite some time, and he selfishly enjoyed feeling like he had Sparker all to himself for a change. No film crews, no cameras, no schedules or meetings or parties to attend… just the two of them. While he wasn't going to make light of the events that led up to it, he did think it was good for Bob to take a break. The industry seemed to have a knack for chewing up stars past recognition before spitting them back out into the streets. He couldn't stand watching it happen in real time. Especially not to someone he cared about so deeply.

So there sat Sparker, swirling a finger absentmindedly around the rim of an almost empty coffee mug at Kenzie's kitchen counter.

Kenzie smiled as he approached, wrapping his arms dramatically around the smaller man's shoulders from behind. His hair was still messy from sleep, and he hadn't yet changed out of his pajamas, having decided to make today yet another lazy stay-at-home day.

"Enjoying your morning?," he hummed, pressing his lips against his lover's neck.

Bob leaned back in his stool, burying himself in Kenzie's embrace. "Well, I guess it’s a lot better now." He stifled a laugh as he was tickled by the continuing barrage of tired kisses. "You sure seem to be."

The two shifted to face each other more directly as Kenzie gently pulled Bob from his seat at the counter. He kept his arms wrapped around his shoulders, leaning back slightly and swaying as he spoke.

"Sparkyyy…" he cooed, playful and singsong, "I have a question for youuu."

Sparker cocked his head.

"Will you maaarry me?"

At that, Bob erupted with laughter, sharp and shrill, his cheeks almost instantly flushing a light pink. He wrapped his arms around Kenzie's waist and butted his forehead against his chest.

"We're already engaged!” He laughed, stepping back and taking Kenzie’s hand in his own. “I proposed to you a few weeks ago! You're wearing the ring right no!"

Kenzie smiled wide. "I know, I know." His expression softened as he looked at the man before him. "I just like asking. I like hearing you say yes."

"Well then ask me again," said Sparker haughtily. "I'll play along, just for you."

"My beloved Bob Sparker," Kenzie began, playing it up as much as he possibly could. He took hold of his fiancé's other hand and got down on one knee, looking up into his vibrant green eyes. The light from the kitchen behind them illuminated his soft white hair like a natural halo. He could hardly keep up the act, truly in awe at the fact that the love of his life was right there before him. Still, he laid it on thick. "Will you do me the greatest honor of accepting my hand in marriage?"

A pause. Sparker pursed his lips. He tapped his foot. Averted his eyes. "Hmmm… you know… I'm not sure…"

"Hey!!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Bob chuckled. "Of course I will. I'd be happy to."

"I wanna hear you say it." Kenzie smirked. "Say you'll marry me."

Bob knelt down in front of him, as close as he could get. He held both pairs of hands on his lap and ran a thumb across the silver ring he'd given Kenzie a few weeks prior. "Kenzie Flack… I'll gladly marry you. I'll be your husband, and you'll be mine." He felt his heart thumping deep within his chest. "There's nothing I could ever want more."

Without even a second's worth of hesitation, Kenzie wrapped his fiancé in a ginormous hug, tackling him into the carpet. He nuzzled his face against Sparker, his heart racing and his skin practically tingling with excitement, squeezing him tight and never wanting to let go. Bob yelped and giggled, returning the hug full-force.

"I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you," Kenzie babbled. "More than anything in all the world."

"Aw, c'mon," Bob blushed. "You don't mean that!"

"I do! I mean every word!"

Bob's gleeful smile suddenly began to die down as he sat up. Even amidst their playful bout of affection, he couldn't rid himself of the thoughts that had been eating at him all morning. He let out a heavy sigh. More than anything in all the world.

"Kenzie…" he whispered, "Everything just seems so perfect… What if something goes wrong?"

"Whaddya mean?"

"You saw it. You heard what people were saying about me. The lawyers, the reporters… A-and now I don't even have the show — the one thing I actually had going for me!" He paused, closing his eyes in thought and trying to collect himself. "You make me feel like myself. Hell, better than myself. But I don't know if I know who that is anymore…"

"Oh, sweetie…" Kenzie put a hand to Bob's cheek. He was gentle. Caring. "Life's full of unknowns. I promise I'll be right beside you for all of it. No matter what."

Bob was right. Kenzie had seen the footage from that night. The man on stage barely resembled the one here now, teeth bared, eyes wild, lashing out at anyone who dared get close. He'd read the articles, spoken with inside sources… he knew. And sure, it was a set-up. A deliberate ploy meant to coax Zap!’s biggest star into offing a man on live TV. But it almost worked. As much as it pained him to admit it, in spite of knowing better… there was a part of him that was scared.

Even then, even after all that, Bob was someone he truly loved. And that's what mattered most.

"Let's start with this," Kenzie said. "I'll ask you again, and if you need to say no, I understand." He ran a loving hand through Bob's hair. "Will you marry me?"

"Kenz, I'm serious —"

"So am I. Just trust me." He pressed a small kiss to the bridge of Sparker's nose as they sat together on the floor. "Please…"

Bob sighed. Despite it all, he couldn't help but grin. It was small and faint, perhaps a bit strained, but it was there. His voice came out soft as he cast his gaze downward. "Of course I still wanna marry you. I'd never change my mind about that."

"Now, even if you're worried about losing parts of yourself, here's three things you know for sure. One:" he kissed Bob's cheek, "you're my fiancé. Two:" a kiss on the other cheek, "one day, you'll be my husband. And three:" a kiss on the forehead, "you're someone that I love. Very very much."

As Kenzie held him close, pulling him into his lap, he could feel Sparker start to relax in his arms.

"Thank you…" the man breathed, his voice heavy with relief. "For being here."

Kenzie smiled. There were a lot of things they both could’ve said. A lot of things they both wanted to say. But in this very moment, there was only one thing for Kenzie to express.

"I always will be."

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End notes: Reupload of an old fic.

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